Watching Texas Chainsaw 3D, the latest screen incarnation of the iconic chainsaw-wielding maniac Leatherface, the mind fairly reels. This purported direct sequel to Tobe Hooper’s 1974 horror classic cheerfully ignores that director’s own 1986 follow-up, the 1997 and 2003 remakes, the 2006 prequel and even its basic timeline. It scores points for sheer brazenness.Download Texas Chainsaw 3D
But aside from it being an obviously loving homage to the original — even including 3D-enhanced clips from it in the opening credits — there isn’t much to recommend this installment whose main point of originality is omitting the word “Massacre” from the title.
The opening sequence takes place directly after the final scene of Hooper’s film, depicting a Waco-like encounter in which the house containing Leatherface and his cannibalistic family burns to the ground with all its occupants presumably dead. Except for a baby, who is promptly adopted and, as we soon see, grows up in Oklahoma to be the beautiful Heather (Alexandra Daddario).
Download Texas Chainsaw 3D
Cut to roughly 20 years later, when Heather learns of her origins after being left a Texas mansion by her late grandmother. She and her friends promptly head off in a van to check out her inheritance — which, unbeknown to them, still is the home of the hulking Leatherface (Dan Yeager).
The film’s first half follows conventional horror movie tropes as the heroine and her hottie companions — boyfriend Ryan (singer Tremaine “Trey Songz” Neverson), BFF Nikki (Tania Raymonde), her new crush Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sanchez) and a hunky hitchhiker (Scott Eastwood) — are pursued by the chainsaw-wielding inhabitant with predictably lethal results. But not before all of them bare as much skin as possible.
Things take a somewhat more complex turn later on when Heather finds herself in an unlikely alliance with her deranged relative against the town’s corrupt mayor (Paul Rae) and his minions. Leatherface is even given a rather sympathetic treatment, depicted as being something of a misunderstood, overgrown child whose propensity for tearing off his victims’ faces is but an extreme example of adolescent rebellion.
That the film obviously takes place in the present day — a key sequence involves a camera phone — is something of a puzzler because that would make Heather nearly 40, something that the tightly toned, midriff-baring Daddario clearly is not. But hey, what’s a couple of decades more or less?
Director John Luessenhop (Takers) takes advantage of the 3D by shoving blood spurts and the occasional chainsaw directly into viewers’ faces, but otherwise it has little impact other than to goose the box office with those hefty surcharges. Unlike the restrained 1974 film, which cleverly relied mainly on suggestion, this version piles on the graphic, often CGI-enhanced gore.
Devoted fans of the original will be gratified by the cameos from several of that film’s castmembers, including original Leatherface Gunnar Hansen, though they are mostly of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-them variety.
Yell! Magazine’s review of Texas Chainsaw 3D: I don’t know why this keeps happening. It’s like some kind of weird Twilight Zone episode that runs along the theme of eternal recurrence. Remake after remake after rehash-remix bonanza, followed by an unplanned sequel, followed by two prequels, and a direct-to-video special.
Here we are again, mein freunds. Let us discuss Texas Chainsaw 3D.
No, no – not “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” – oh my, no. That’d be much too appealing – the ship has sailed on remakes for that film. Instead we’re left with a money-grubbing retcon that’s canceled out most of the series.
Considering what the series became, though, that may actually be a good thing.
Following the events of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and illustrated through old, remastered footage that lends you a craving for honest-to-God effort), we see the Sawyer family hoarding their chainsaw-wielding relative in the kitchen, while the house is swarmed and attacked by angry rednecks. In the midst of an arson fest and bloody shoot-out, each member of the entire family meets their demise, and a small baby is discovered to be the only survivor.
Now, 40 years later (or, maybe 20, given the age of the character – whatever) young Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario) receives notification that her grandmother, whom she never knew, has died and left her with the inheritance of a grand mansion, somewhere in Texas. Tracing her roots, and seeking to know where she fits in, our heroine takes a road trip with a group of friends and stays the night in her not-so-humble abode.
People begin disappearing, the Chainsaw-Mythos is fleshed out, and when it’s all over and done you’ve managed to shrug with such frequency you’ve thrown your back out, and are finally whisked off in an ambulance.
“How could that guy do something so stupid?”
“Why aren’t people running away from a chainsaw-wielding man-giant?”
“Why did that person make a 180-degree character turn in such a short time?”
“Why does a 90-minute movie feel so long?”
Some good questions have no good answers.
The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre holds a timeless quality to it, for being disturbing, visceral, and full of grunge. The antagonist was mysterious, dangerous and had a look and feel that was incredibly unique, while still managing to be offbeat. He had a style all his own, and you’ll remember Leatherface for being the wild and wacky sumbitch that he is.
Now, he’s a marketing gimmick. Slap Leatherface in the center of your promotional poster and you’ve got yourself a new Lexus and a metric boatload of prostitutes.
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